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LuLu's Land of the Fey

All the news that bores the pants off anyone who cares.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Every time someone tells me how much they loved being pregnant, I want to punch her in the face.

Really? You liked not being able to bend at the waist and having to go into a sumo stance just to pick something up off the floor? You thought indigestion and heartburn were fun? And let’s not forget the joyride that is the never ending bladder—immediately after peeing, you can already feel the pressure to go again! Personally, I would almost be willing to sell a non-vital organ just to get rid of the back pain and the nasal congestion.

I hate being told that someone never felt as good as she did when she was pregnant. I think women who say that are suffering the same delusions my MIL was suffering when she told me—in between the screeches of my poor son who was cutting a particularly nasty tooth—“I don’t think my kids ever had any teething pain.”

They have simply forgotten how miserable it was.

I was reading this insipid once-a-month ‘ladies’ magazine’ that comes in our local newspaper the other day. An article that was supposed to be telling  how great prenatal massage opened with the following sentence:

“For many women, being pregnant is a very glamorous time….”

I laughed. Loudly. For a long time.

I’ve felt many things over the past seven months.

Frustration.

Anger.

Boredom. (Can’t anyone ask me anything that doesn’t involve baby-making?)

Hope for the little girl who has taken root inside of me.

Glamour was never a feeling that I experienced. Maybe I’m doing this pregnancy thing wrong?

Forty-four more days to go. My great-grandma did this fourteen times. I think we’ll stop with two and call it good.

.: posted by amy 2:00 PM